You think you are in love when what you feel for your partner makes you fulfilled. You will feel incomplete without the person in question. You will be restless when that person is not with you. Something must make you fall in love with that person, or make you behave in the aforementioned ways. You will be better prepared to adore your partner if you know why you think you are in love. Such knowledge will encourage you to assist them to preserve such qualities, so that you can remain in that mood.
You are really in love when you suddenly realize that you and your partner are one. In such a mood, you will not want to hurt that person. Doing that is like doing that to yourself. You will want to share your best food with that person, since you will have the feeling that their fulfillment is yours as well. All you think about when you are in love is how to make that person happy. It is the only way you will be happy too, since both of you are the same. It is this feeling of being that person that makes you want to spend the rest of your life with them because you seem completely inseparable. You seem hooked.
Love is the only truth that comes alive if what two people share is able to make them inseparable. This love is like a thin layer of cement put between two blocks to make them have a lasting connection. If cement needs water and sand to bind effectively, love needs devotion and respect to nurture intimacy between two partners. Just like the cement, love needs time to exhibit its full effect. Two people cannot start an affair today and claim they are in love today because they may be dealing with lust. Until two people have spent so much time together to be able to understand each other’s dos and don’ts, they are still far away from loving each other.
Consequently, the idea that two people may start a relationship because of “love-at-first-sight” only means that they approved of each other’s physical attributes, not that they fell in love with each other. Of the aforementioned ten-point checks, physical attributes of one’s potential partner have indeed the strongest tendency to fulfill spontaneously what one desires for in a relationship. So, be careful not to choose your spouse based on only one of the ten-point checks because you may be in for a big surprise which may make you live miserably for a long time.
Lust in a love affair is that hunger for excitements. Be ready to deal with it when you choose a partner because it makes you think you are in love when you are only fond of that person. Falling in love takes time, so lust usually comes first in the tree of life and love. When two people accept to date, they start by exhibiting their positive qualities, going for sightseeing, and doing everything to be happy. Starting a relationship this way makes the two involved to bask only on the aftermath of their positive contributions to the growth of their union. At this point, they will misconstrue the love and happiness they share for being in love with each other, even without knowing each other’s repulsive deeds. The truth is that two people in a relationship could never fall in love if they did not have a taste of each other’s off-putting attitudes. Knowledge of those distasteful traits will make them either fulfilled or unfulfilled.
A relationship will fail once one person, or the two involved are unfulfilled. It will succeed only when the two partners are fulfilled. What this means is that if two people who lust after each other get married, their daily interactions must make them familiar with each other. Being familiar with each other is being aware of their positive and negative traits. That is the ultimate point because they will know immediately what obstacle lies ahead, and whether they can cope with it. They will fall in love if they can cope, but they will breakup if they cannot. Their true marriage begins once they are in love, since they will marry for a common goal at this point.
Inability to query things
You may leave things the way they are and settle for your potential partner the moment you allow the excitements you enjoy in your relationship to cloud your intellect. This is when you believe that romance and love are all you need for a successful marriage, and you ignore other important signs that wave the red flag, warning you of the impending danger if you marry your potential partner.
Expectations from family and other close associates
Sometimes, the need to impress people can affect how you choose your partner. No one can tell how you feel in your relationship better than you do, except in extreme cases of abuse where the society feels compelled to intervene and tell you what is right for you. Your relationship may not look great on the inside but does on the outside because of the way you and your potential spouse carry yourselves before people. This may make everyone in your life feel the pleasure and encourage you to get married, in spite of how you really feel inside. You are likely to go ahead with their demands, even though it is not what you want. More so, you may split from someone who is the right life partner for you because of family insistence based on religion, cultural belief, or other factors which you ignored when you began your relationship.
Pressure imposed on us by society
Pressure builds up in your daily life when you are afraid of being judged or talked about by the people that know your current situation, especially if you are of age or at the verge of being the last single friend. This makes you rush into a partnership that you might not deem okay if you were not under stress.
The charm and the personality of your potential partner
Charm and personality of your potential spouse are like tinted glasses, which have the tendency to shield your eyes from the harsh rays of the sun, because they can make you weigh your criteria for choosing a spouse wrongly. You may prioritize such qualities like appearance, résumé, and accomplishments, above the quality of your connection with your prospective spouse.
Fear of spending time with the wrong person
Fear takes control of you when you occupy your mind with the idea that no matter what happens your relationship will end up in divorce, which is nowadays rampant in the society. With this mindset, you will assume that everyone is the same and you do not have control of how your relationship will go, no matter who your spouse is. Your relationship is doomed from the beginning when you make your choice based on this idea because you will rather be making a way for your smooth exit instead of doing your best to make it work. You will handle your spouse by using your brain instead of by using your heart. What that means is that you will be more calculative than romantic towards your spouse.
Sources of Distraction (The Sting)
Use this point for your final check with respect to some of the things you hate about your spouse. Ask yourself this question:
Can you cope with those things?
Little things can put us off in a relationship. What puts you off? Are there things your prospective spouse does that make you sad? Does your prospective spouse have hard rules to some of the things you do and he or she would not budge or change any, even if you asked him or her to? How does your prospective spouse use his or her phone, computer, and other electronic gadgets in your presence? How does your prospective spouse interact with you in your good and bad moods? Find an answer to each of these questions and you will know whether to spend your future with him or her. The truth is that some bad habits sting like a bee. In other words, they hurt the heart, mind, and head. Talk to your prospective spouse about the need to stop any off-putting habit if you think it is the only thing that stands between both of you.
Rule 1: You must be sure that you can cope with the bad habits of your prospective spouse before you can make your final decision.
Rule 2: Don’t think that you can make your prospective spouse discard his or her bad habits when both of you are married. It may be impossible after marriage to change what you could not when you were in a relationship with him or her.