After an argument with your partner, do not withdraw into a protective but uncomfortable bubble where you say things like “I will never bother you again from this day onward, or stay away from me, okay?”
In such a mode, you will end up keeping malice with your partner for a while, treating him or her with lack of commitment, or detaching gradually by giving your time to something new.
The danger of taking such an ugly stance in your relationship is that you may never be the same again when you step out of your uncomfortable safe-haven. Such behaviour will send the wrong message to your partner, and for that reason the person may withdraw from you. The consequence is a partner who does not care for you anymore.
Be careful with your utterances in times of arguments with your partner. There’s the tendency that your partner will reflect on whatever word you have uttered, and that might help the person to know exactly what he or she is worth in your life.
This Blog post is for the entry “Write Anything Wednesday“, the Daily Post Community Event, organized by Writerishramblings
When I am angry, I have found it best to go do a household chore, like washing dishes or vacuuming or going through old papers and throwing away the junk. At first i picture whatever is making me angry as the dirt/ junk I am getting rid of, then I start to feel better about myself as I get my environment in order. That sense of achievement helps me look at the problem with detachment . . . next thing I know I realize as long as he loves and respects me, we can work this out.
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That’s a good virtue, and I like that. It gives hope to the growth of your marriage. Thank you for sharing that idea. One needs time to feel better when one is angry, and engaging oneself in household tasks, or anything which can make one focus on something else, is a good pill for such moments. And again, thinking about the the good qualities of one’s spouse is also a good way to forgive whatever he or she had done wrongly. Thank you for stopping by.
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It’s so important that we do not say something like that, because that shows hostility to the one person we love and want to be with! It’s never worth it. We might say things in the heat of it and to satisfy our ego which we sometimes call “self-respect” but words can be really heavy. It’s so important to resolve conflicts in a healthy way… I agree with Carolyne. No matter how difficult it is, it’s extremely important that we detach from the problem or situation and try to reach a solution as a team. As long as anything is said or done with love. What has to be done, must be done – just with the utmost love in the heart. Then things can’t go ‘wrong’ in the real sense.
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You have judged correctly. I totally agree with you. We have to detach from the problem and focus on love. Love heals. Thank you for your contribution. I appreciate.
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Argument, what argument? Silence is golden:)
Personally I think arguments, within limit, are spices of life. Keeps life interesting and not boring.
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Yes, we have to argue constructively and avoid an escalation. In that way, our friendship will remain intact. Thank you for stopping by.
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I like this post because I see people in couples therapy (as a clinical psychologist) build up walls of hurtful things they’ve said. It is very hard to un-say a nasty comment, but using your prefrontal cortex to rein in the anger and vengeance will prevent walls from being built in the first place. Bravo to you for bringing this up!
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Thank you so much for your supportive comment. I am happy you liked it.
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Great advice! Words can be very painful and aren’t soon forgotten. It is difficult to talk things through but when the heat of the moment is over it’s important!
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Thank you Deb for your supportive comment. You are correct. Words are very powerful and they can kill or heal. What we say against our loved ones will let them know if we truly love them.
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When an argument gets heated, sometimes the best thing you can do is pause. Do something around the house, with the kids, something like that. Then reconnect when you’re both calm. You can better talk it out at that point.
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That’s a good point. Being able to control our tempers when we are angry, and succumb to reasoning when we are calm. It’s the right pill. Thank you for your wise comment and for stopping by.
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You are welcome. Thank you for your good advice 🙂
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Thank you Christina for stopping by. I appreciate.
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