You cannot make the right choice if you do not know what you want.

Knowledge of what you want will enable you judge correctly when you see what you do not want.

Ask yourself, how do I want my partner to look? If you can answer this simple question correctly, then you will be one step closer to what you really want.

Do not choose one whose physical attributes do not meet your specification, unless one has other good qualities which can compensate for that.

How would you know that one has good qualities when your focus is on assessing one’s physical attributes if they appealed to you?

Be careful when you do this because we have two sets of people in a dating game: the good guys and the bad guys…

It continues from here next Sunday.



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All rights reserved.




    • That was a good advice, “Never judge a book by its cover”. But the truth is that when it comes to a relationship, the looks of the cover of the book become more important than anyone could imagine. How neat, tall, short, fat or slim, your prospective partner is become an issue when you are considering dating them. This is because you want to be happy as well as feel comfortable with them. That’s why physical attribute is one of the factors that mislead people when they make choices for their prospective spouses. The eye must first eat before the heart can feel it. The chances that your heart will accept something is high if it’s pleasing to you. Once you see anything good, the first thing that goes through your mind is that it looks good; you like it and will like to have it. The good thing about having something you like is that you will like to preserve it, nurture it, pamper it and even find it difficult to throw it away. In the course of doing all that, you might be attached to that thing emotionally and eventually fall in love with it without knowing, simply by realizing its usefulness. The bad thing with not being careful with how you consider the physical attributes of your prospective partner is that it may make you reject someone with a beautiful mind by refusing their advances and not giving them the chance to show you how beautiful they look inside. This plays out in our daily lives always. For instance, it’s easier for a girl to fall in love with an ugly musician that for her to fall for a handsome man whose inner beauty she did not know about. Then later when she realizes that the music is not enough to sustain what she desires in her partner, she begins to consider other things. The fact is that likeness comes before true love.

      Liked by 3 people

  1. hmm, I know it is quite common in other places to favor people based on looks. So partner based on physical attributes .. And this is exactly how my friend from EU says… Looks first. But it is not like that here. So it saddens me. Feels like a form of racism .. Isn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

    • When it comes to a relationship with someone, how they look become important to you, and the beauty of their looks is solely based on your judgement. This judgement of yours could be favourable or unfavourable to them based on what you want or how you perceive beauty in your world. Once you okay that persons look, which to others may be ugly, you feel fulfilled and excited to see them. This excitement is what inspires you to carry on to the second stage where you begin to discover who they really are. In that case, at some point before you start a relationship with anyone, you will definitely try to convince yourself that that person is beautiful or handsome, even if in the real sense they are not, because dip down in the comfort of our hearts we all need something beautiful or handsome to relax therein. Please read the other comment I made on this page and you will understand why physical attribute is necessary. To answer your question, I think it’s more of a culture thing than racism, but the common thing is that there must be a form of excitement which is the fuel that makes you carry on with your partner, no matter where you come from. What do you think, Hira?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes , I agree with statement. “Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder”. well , somehow for some people like me , I feel that love is not attraction to physical beauty. That is puppy love or just teen crush. An actual first stage would be person with great sense of humor , or a traveler , or common interest . So my first stage is discovery 🙂 and after falling in love with physical traits… But that is just me and fortunately I found my not so handsome , but guy with greeeaaat sense of humor. Actually he is responsible to fill my life with humor which flows down to my blog 😀

        Liked by 2 people

      • You are correct, Hira. We all have something that we lookout for in someone we want to date. Having a high sense of humour is one of them and physical attributes is another. I have ten-point checks for choosing a partner, so these are just two. High sense of humour falls into a different heading which you will see later. I mentioned in the post that one can overlook physical attribute if one has other qualities. So the main point is to make sure that there’s something that brings excitements to you. Thank you Hira for sharing this beautiful side with us. I really appreciate your contribution.

        Liked by 1 person

    • No, Hira, you are on point. Physical attributes or looks matter in every relationship, but what that actually means is based on what each person think about it. In other words, we may not have the same feeling about someone’s looks, and that budges down to the fact that “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder”. This beauty is what each of us need before we can start any relationship because it’s a part of what brings the excitement we need for a successful relationship.


  2. I read through all the comments and my hmm, is a sign of deep thought, but truly speaking in any relationship, the eyes are first satisfied before other things follow. If someone can’t stand the physical appearance of the other for any reason, it’s hard for the relationship to get a leg off. Never judge a book by it’s cover is simply a cliche that has to be applied with wisdom.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s it. We all have what we want in our prospective partners, and most of the time we want it to be perfect. I like your taste Goncalo. Thank you for sharing it with us. I really appreciate your support.

      Liked by 1 person

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