Poetry is difficult to understand sometimes because very often its language is indirect. The busy reader wants to read through a write-up and understand it’s meaning without doing any extra work, and sometimes avoids poetry since it demands commitment and energy.
The truth is that apart from the hidden meanings of verses, poetry offers a beautiful sound of language and an emotional insight in the subject matter, drawn from the poet’s perspective.
The poem “Keep Personalizing” is a beautiful expression of love. I was drawn to it as soon as I set my eyes on it. The poet, Ma Socorro, uses words and sound of language to express the thoughts of someone feeling highly loved and content enough to give reasons for being in such a beautiful mood.
This question is simple but very challenging if a couple finds it hard to bond together as one.
Two people start a relationship, or go into marriage, to be happy. No one will ever agree to live with anyone who has the inclination to make one unhappy for as long as they are together, unless one or both of them have hidden agendas.
Sadness is not an option, but it is inevitable every so often in one’s marital life.
The ability of a couple to manage crisis and disputes effectively is a plus to their communication and their desire to live together happily.
Only when they find happiness in their union, can they truly benefit from other things which they had in mind for becoming partners.
Many couples cannot answer this simple question correctly and most of the mistakes they make in their relationship sprout from it. Relationship involves two people with different feelings. That means a combination of what goes on within them is required for the growth of their union.
Your marriage can never work when one of you is in love and the other is not. In such a situation, there will be cheating, disrespect, and separation, which might be stimulated by the one who is not in love.
Imagine a situation where your neck was inclined to one direction for a long time, you would feel pain if there was nothing to prop it up. That is what happens when you are in love and your partner is not. You will have constant torture since you might not get in return what you have given out straight from the heart.
But when both of you are in love, you will get what you desire by giving what the person desires, too. It is that simple. There must be devotion and respect from the two of you in other to complement what you share together. So, do not make the mistake of thinking that your partner is in love with you because you are in love with him or her.
Watch out for the signs, but ensure that you are doing something great to put that person in that mood since no one falls in love by magic, but by the marvellous deeds of one’s better half.
The instant chemistry you feel for your prospective spouse on your first date, or at the first time you meet, does not give an assurance that he or she feels the same for you. You will make a mistake by concluding that your prospective spouse is attracted to you simply because you are attracted to him or her. You know yourself, and you are sure of what you feel inside, but you need some time to be sure of what your prospective spouse feels. So, be observant as you string yourselves along. Relationship or marriage is about two people, not about one person.
Double-checking your views
Over excitement about your blooming relationship can make you attach sentiments in your analysis of its true nature. Your opinion about your potential spouse is very important but do not make your big decision without letting trusted members of your family or friends weigh in on your relationship. You will have some vital clues about your prospective spouse when you do that. Introduce him or her to them after a few dates, and you will be glad you did if they gave you their sincere observations. Their contributions will either increase your confidence in the relationship, or warn you about an impending danger which is not visible to you.
No one wants to invest time in anything that is worthless. What that means is that anyone who does not appreciate you from the onset will not want to be there for you. Don’t let the excuse “I am busy” fool you. Taking the decision to start a relationship is also taking the decision to spend time with someone special. So don’t laugh when your prospective spouse does not keep appointments with you because it may mean one thing: you are not special. Solve the time issue first before you make your big decision. Don’t start a relationship with anyone who will not have time for you.
The platform issue
Two people on different platforms cannot do much since they do not have much in common. The fact that they are not on the same level shows that they will grow apart when they come together and try to maintain their stances, unless one of them is ready to join the other on his or her platform, or that both of them are ready to move to a new platform where they can carry each other along from the outset. Never start a love affair with anyone who thinks or acts as if either of you are not on the same level, or that the level he or she occupies is higher than yours, because you will be marginalized and that will lead to unrest in your union.
The equality issue
Love is better served when two people play it with a mindset that they are equal, not when one thinks that the other is a servant. Studies have shown that a master-servant relationship is not the best route to happiness. You cannot give your best in a relationship where you think you are the master (Main Character) and your partner is the servant. More so, you cannot feel fulfilled in a relationship when you think you are being used as a servant because you will feel used. Never start a relationship with anyone who believes he or she is doing you a favour by opting to date you.
The smart animal knows how to avoid a hidden trap, no matter how it appears. Also, the smart animal knows how to spot the hidden good in one on a first date, no matter how timid and annoying one is. To do this, the smart animal employs what I call “The Correct Fire Brigade Approach”.
This approach is all about having the foresight to judge one by one’s words without being fooled by one’s lies or moods, and having the ability to string one along without getting hurt.
Step 1: Be nice. Being nice is like being a sniper. A sniper aims at a target for a good shot. Chat with your date and ask questions when you think you have to.
Step 2: Smile and make eye contact even if you do not feel it. You can change the way one plans to treat you by just doing that.
Step 3: Be patient. This trait will help you to listen and look one in the eye, as if one has something else to say.
Step 4: Be able to tell what you have that one does not have. In that way, you will know how to help your relationship grow.
Step 5: Be flexible but do not involve in sex until you are sure of one. It will increase one’s desire to know you.
Be careful when you choose a partner because we have two sets of people in a dating game: the good guys and the bad guys.
The good guys exhibit good traits and think good within them than you can see in their physical attributes. Sometimes, this goodness makes them timid and they are liable to make mistakes when they are on their first dates. On the other hand, the bad guys exhibit good traits but think bad within them than you can observe in their physical features. Always, they are smart and know every word that their dates want to hear when they are on their first dates.
The Hidden Trap
Many people, especially woman, fall into this trap on their first dates and make mistakes. Let us assume a woman has a first date with a good man in a restaurant. At the restaurant she notices that the man does not charm her the way she expects, even though the man has other characteristics which are appealing to her. She takes a decision right there and decides not to go ahead with him. She keeps another date in the restaurant with a bad guy and falls in love with him right there because of his eloquence and his ability to fulfill her first-date expectations. Suddenly, after a few dates with the bad guy, she cries of heartbreak and wonders why a guy she loved so much would treat her as if he never cared, even though he had said that many times. Truth is bitter, and the truth is that the bad guy wanted her for only a few dates, nothing more. What is the way forward? You will get an update on Sunday.