Unapologetic

223039-Apologies-Dont-Mean-Anything-If-You-Keep-Doing-What-You-re-Sorry-For

 

The problems you and your partner have would remain unresolved when you have done wrong and have refused to apologize.

This kind of behaviour causes friction in your relationship, and the consequence is detrimental to the growth of your union.

Small insignificant things matter.

For a healthy relationship, ensure that you take responsibilities for your actions and apologize in good time.

Don’t keep doing what you are sorry for.

 

 

 

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Some beautiful ones don’t like stain

Tolu liked to associate with good-looking people. He would never consider friendship with anyone whose looks did not appeal to him. He would move around town with his friends to let everyone know that he had lovely people around him. His definition of ugly was ugly, and that heightened his pomposity and his overzealousness in his inclination to love only those that looked lovely.

One day, he went on a jaunt to the woods, with ten of his friends. He was so drunk that he did not see the small muddy pond, hidden beside a brush, and in the next moment he ended up inside.

“Help me,” he cried out. Only his head and hands were visible, and they were completely soiled with mud.

His friends squirmed backwards in anxiety, confused of what to do.

“Help me, please,” he continued, but none of them was ready to make the first move.

“Try and stay afloat while I go call for help,” one of them said. “It’s a dirty pond and we don’t want to get stained.”

“Help me, I’m dying!”

The young man that responded to the call was dazed as he heard the clamour of the voices of the nine people standing by the pond.

“I thought you needed help,” he said to Tolu, “but now I can see that you don’t. If ten people cannot help you, what can one person do? I’m sorry.” He turned and sauntered away.

Tolu’s eyes widened in pain as it dawned on him that he had substituted inward worth for fine outward appearances.

 

Copyright © 2016 by P. A. Owala

          All rights reserved.

The Nonentity!

In Agbaka village, the villagers considered Ikenna a nonentity. Ikenna was a young man in his early twenties. He was always alone because no one especially adults in his community wanted to talk to him. People would make mockery of him whenever he passed by, but he never got tired of trying to make himself happy.

One day, he decided to play with some of the children in his neighborhood, but he hesitated on getting to the playground, afraid that they might chide him for trying to mingle with them. He played with them that day, but he was surprised that some of the adults that saw him did not interrupt the flow.

For the first time, he saw a loophole in a society that had rejected him, reckoning that he could live life to the full by playing with children. The next day, he went to the playground again, but on getting there he realized that there was no one.

He waited for a while but none of the children showed up. He felt sad and decided to go home. On his way home, he met the children in another playground, and he stood for a while, wondering why they left their usual arena. He shrugged off his doubts and sat beside a tree, watching them. He was happier doing that than sitting all to himself at home. Suddenly, one of the children came to meet him.

“Why are you here?” he asked.

“I’m here to watch you all. I enjoy your play.”

“Yesterday my parents asked me to stay away from you. Other children were told the same thing too.”

“Was that why you came to play in this field?”

“Yes, but now we need your help. You’re the only adult here and we need someone to organize us. We want to run.”

“Okay, that will be nice.”

He organized the children and they were all happy. The next day, he introduced more games and they felt at home with him.

The news of what he did spread fast in the village. Most of the adults in the land came to the field the next day to confirm what they heard. They were delighted to see him do what they could not.

His life changed for the better from that day.

Even the nonentity has something to offer!

 

Copyright © 2016 by P. A. Owala

All rights reserved.

 

 

Choosing A Partner (The Anchor)-POST 9

Sources of Attraction (The Anchor)

Use this point for your final check after you have considered all the positive qualities your prospective spouse possesses. Ask yourself several questions:

Why are you attracted to your prospective spouse?

Is there any source of attraction?

You must answer these questions first before you can tell if there is headway in starting a future with your prospective spouse. You can do this by enumerating them. Consider one’s charm, cleanliness, motivations, strengths and abilities. These qualities will give you something to anchor on daily if they appeal to you. You must anchor on something in your prospective partner, if not you will not bond together. But what you anchor on must obey two major rules:

  1. It must not be need-driven. Don’t choose your spouse based on the fact that you have a need and he or she would meet them for you. For instance, needs like we can have children together, he will be a great father, she will be a great mother, she cooks for me, he has money to spend on me, she is presentable, he is great in bed, and he is ready for marriage. Problem starts after a few years when the excitements of getting your needs met have worn off because you already had them, since what happens afterwards in your marriage will be boring.
  2. Don’t let it define your future. The tendency that you will be a source of problem to your spouse is high if you rest all your future growth on whatever your spouse has because you might be disappointed and become a different person when the things are not there anymore.

CHOOSING A PARTNER (POST 7)

The mindset of your future partner

You cannot know the mindset of your future partner if you do not spend time together. Conversation is the key in this section. You must talk about everything. Talk about your goals, your plans, your daily troubles, and how you care for each other. Check for one’s honesty if you can, temperaments, and how one interacts with one’s family and yours too. The aim of doing this is to know if you have the same personalities. Having the same personalities will enable you to be doing things with one accord. You need to really agree in order to carry your relationship forward smoothly.