Unapologetic

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The problems you and your partner have would remain unresolved when you have done wrong and have refused to apologize.

This kind of behaviour causes friction in your relationship, and the consequence is detrimental to the growth of your union.

Small insignificant things matter.

For a healthy relationship, ensure that you take responsibilities for your actions and apologize in good time.

Don’t keep doing what you are sorry for.

 

 

 

Saying You Are Sorry

Saying Sorry

 

Be sure that you are truly sorry, and henceforth you are ready to do the right thing, if you must apologize for your wrongs. Saying you are sorry all the time over one problem can mean many things to your spouse:

Firstly, your spouse may think that you are taking him or her for granted and such feelings have the power of making the person to not see anything good in what you are doing because you are not on the same page. The person might take you for granted as well, or react aggressively and an argument might ensue.

Lastly, you may be sending the message that you are not responsible, not good for any sane person, and not open to change, which most people are willing to do for the better way forward when they are with someone they cherish.

Different people can feel different things, but the result of singing “I’m sorry” all the time over one issue usually send wrong signals to your spouse.

 

Copyright © 2016 by P. A. Owala

 All rights reserved.

 

 

Why are you dating, or why are you married to your spouse?

 

Sonnenuntergang, Wandern, Unterberghorn, Tirol, Österreich

 

This question is simple but very challenging if a couple finds it hard to bond together as one.

Two people start a relationship, or go into marriage, to be happy. No one will ever agree to live with anyone who has the inclination to make one unhappy for as long as they are together, unless one or both of them have hidden agendas.

Sadness is not an option, but it is inevitable every so often in one’s marital life.

The ability of a couple to manage crisis and disputes effectively is a plus to their communication and their desire to live together happily.

Only when they find happiness in their union, can they truly benefit from other things which they had in mind for becoming partners.

 

 

Copyright © 2016 by P. A. Owala

All rights reserved.

 

 

Is your partner in love when you are in love?

 

Many couples cannot answer this simple question correctly and most of the mistakes they make in their relationship sprout from it. Relationship involves two people with different feelings. That means a combination of what goes on within them is required for the growth of their union.

Your marriage can never work when one of you is in love and the other is not. In such a situation, there will be cheating, disrespect, and separation, which might be stimulated by the one who is not in love.

Imagine a situation where your neck was inclined to one direction for a long time, you would feel pain if there was nothing to prop it up. That is what happens when you are in love and your partner is not. You will have constant torture since you might not get in return what you have given out straight from the heart.

But when both of you are in love, you will get what you desire by giving what the person desires, too. It is that simple. There must be devotion and respect from the two of you in other to complement what you share together. So, do not make the mistake of thinking that your partner is in love with you because you are in love with him or her.

Watch out for the signs, but ensure that you are doing something great to put that person in that mood since no one falls in love by magic, but by the marvellous deeds of one’s better half.

When are you really in Love?

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You are really in love when you suddenly realize that you and your partner are one. In such a mood, you will not want to hurt that person. Doing that is like doing that to yourself. You will want to share your best food with that person, since you will have the feeling that their fulfillment is yours as well. All you think about when you are in love is how to make that person happy. It is the only way you will be happy too, since both of you are the same. It is this feeling of being that person that makes you want to spend the rest of your life with them because you seem completely inseparable. You seem hooked.

Falling in Love

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Love is the only truth that comes alive if what two people share is able to make them inseparable. This love is like a thin layer of cement put between two blocks to make them have a lasting connection. If cement needs water and sand to bind effectively, love needs devotion and respect to nurture intimacy between two partners. Just like the cement, love needs time to exhibit its full effect. Two people cannot start an affair today and claim they are in love today because they may be dealing with lust. Until two people have spent so much time together to be able to understand each other’s dos and don’ts, they are still far away from loving each other.

Consequently, the idea that two people may start a relationship because of “love-at-first-sight” only means that they approved of each other’s physical attributes, not that they fell in love with each other. Of the aforementioned ten-point checks, physical attributes of one’s potential partner have indeed the strongest tendency to fulfill spontaneously what one desires for in a relationship. So, be careful not to choose your spouse based on only one of the ten-point checks because you may be in for a big surprise which may make you live miserably for a long time.

Choosing A Partner (The Anchor)-POST 9

Sources of Attraction (The Anchor)

Use this point for your final check after you have considered all the positive qualities your prospective spouse possesses. Ask yourself several questions:

Why are you attracted to your prospective spouse?

Is there any source of attraction?

You must answer these questions first before you can tell if there is headway in starting a future with your prospective spouse. You can do this by enumerating them. Consider one’s charm, cleanliness, motivations, strengths and abilities. These qualities will give you something to anchor on daily if they appeal to you. You must anchor on something in your prospective partner, if not you will not bond together. But what you anchor on must obey two major rules:

  1. It must not be need-driven. Don’t choose your spouse based on the fact that you have a need and he or she would meet them for you. For instance, needs like we can have children together, he will be a great father, she will be a great mother, she cooks for me, he has money to spend on me, she is presentable, he is great in bed, and he is ready for marriage. Problem starts after a few years when the excitements of getting your needs met have worn off because you already had them, since what happens afterwards in your marriage will be boring.
  2. Don’t let it define your future. The tendency that you will be a source of problem to your spouse is high if you rest all your future growth on whatever your spouse has because you might be disappointed and become a different person when the things are not there anymore.